the music I hate - 凋叶棕 (Diao ye zong)

Please credit me if reproduced

奏 album art album:
arrangement: RD-Sounds
lyrics: RD-Sounds
vocals: めらみぽっぷ
source: 阿礼の子供 (Child of Are)

何処かで失くした手紙 見つけて手に取るような
そういうものに似ている けれどそこに書かれていることに 憶えは無い
It seems that I found a lost letter somewhere
But I can't remember what was written on it

自分の足跡 自分というものが生きていた証の それはいつかの紛い物
My footsteps, the proof that I lived, is just a sham from someday

I wonder what everyone will leave behind
At the end of the lives they live and live

——In that sound.

けれどわたしには そのすべて 知ることなど叶わない⋯
I have recited, felt, and performed*
But there's no way for me to know everything of that...

たとえばこの瞬間も 私の胸の底から
聞こえる生存の音 これもきっと生きていた証になってしまう
If I were to hear this moment, too, the sound of existence
From the bottom of my heart, it would surely become the proof that I lived

余りに頼りない 余りにも余所余所しくもどうにもならない かくもわずらわしい鼓動
A beat so unreliable, so distantly helpless, so irritating

Though I might leave something behind of
The life that I have lived and live

——Like that sound.

けれど「わたし」には そのすべて 知ることなど叶わない⋯
I have recited, felt, and performed
But there's no way for "me" to know everything of that...

自分のたてた自分でない音 そんな独り善がりの「音楽」なんて、嗚呼⋯
The life that "I" have somebody has lived——
Is such a strange melody
A sound that I made that is not mine, that kind of conceited "music" memory is just, ah...

And in this life that I lived and live
Surely one day "I" will again

——Come to hate this sound.

To prolong "my" somebody's life as long
As "I" they can recite, feel, and perform——

But this beat life keeps on living and living
Along with the destiny of those who have that

——This sound is so...

けれど「わたし」には そのすべて 知らずに生きてほしい⋯
I'll recite, feel, and perform
But "I" would prefer to live while knowing nothing at all...

...Of the music I hate.

* References to previous 凋叶棕 albums 謡, 音, and this one